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March 1, 2005

Living How You Want To

I just read that the life partner of one of my online buddies died in a horseback riding accident. I'm sad, but not crushed.

You see, the woman, Dawn Marie, had MS - yes, *gasp*, she was disabled! She was in a long term, committed relationship with Carla. A couple years ago, they moved out of the city onto a ranch where Dawn Marie could work with her beloved horses. She was a disability advocate, and a gay rights advocate, and even though I never "conversed" with her online or in person, she made an impression on me, through Carla.

She didn't bend to the crap of "you're disabled, you shouldn't take risks, you shouldn't do physical stuff, blah, blah." Even though she rode a wheelchair, she also rode a horse! She and Carla didn't hide who they were, they bought property together! They weren't slave to the insidious "you should"s that are shoved down our throat by the pervasive, controlling, big bad sky father god culture.

In other words, Dawn Marie lived! She didn't merely exist, meekly subservient to doctors, preachers, and cultural expectations of what a disabled woman should be, or who she should love.

Yes, she died in an accident, riding her horse. But better to die living, than live dying the straw death of doing nothing.

Goodbye, Dawn Marie. I raise a glass to a life well lived, and a person well loved. My sympathies to Carla, who has a tough act to carry on alone.

Charities that Dawn Marie cared about:
Basic Rights Oregon
National Multiple Sclerosis Society

Posted by ljl at March 1, 2005 1:48 PM


That was beautifully expressed.

Posted by: katie at March 11, 2005 6:34 AM

Lovely, ljl. I have a tribute here:



Posted by: Valorie Zimmerman at March 18, 2005 12:43 PM

Oh, for your eloquence. Well said.

Posted by: Meredydd at March 19, 2005 5:29 AM